SJPL #2: Practicing their English with foreigners

Stuff Jordanian People Like #2: Practicing their English with foreigners

Arabic is the official language of Jordan, followed by English and Taxi-Driverspeak – a synthesis of practicing basic English phrases and questions with foreigners, colloquial Arabic, and cursing in an astonishing number of languages. If you look like a Western European or an American, or if you just look like someone who might speak English, and you are visiting Jordan, be prepared to encounter Taxi-Driverspeak. Even if you are a long-term resident, don’t be caught off guard by the weekly, if not daily, “Welcome to Jordan” offered mostly by taxi-drivers and old Arab men sitting in chairs outside shops. Saying “Saken(ah) hon” (“I live here”) is not an appropriate response, because this will probably provoke a brief lesson about where “here” is in relation to where you are from. Example:

Old Arab man outside falafel shop: Wel-come to Jor-dan.

You: Saken hon. (I live here.)

Old Arab man: From America?

You: Yes.

Old Arab man: Jor-dan and Ameri-ca like this (rubs index fingers together in a creepy sawing motion which means “close”). Min wein enti? (Where are you from?)

You: Alabama

Old Arab man: New York?

You: La (No), Alabama.

Old Arab man: Chicago?

You: La (No), Alabama.

Old Arab man: Wash-ing-town?

You can walk away from an inquisitive old Arab man more easily than you can leap from a moving taxi. If a taxi driver initiates a “Welcome to Jordan” conversation which you wish to avoid, simply say “Shukran” (Thank you) and stare out the window. If he persists, speaking to you in Arabic, English or any other language, simply say “Sorry, I am from Hungary”, because he is unlikely to know any Hungarian.

If, however, you are feeling bold, you may reply “Shukran” with some interest, waiting for the inevitable question “Where are you from?” to which you may reply with the truth or with a country of your choice – but be careful which country you choose:

Taxi driver: Welcome to Jordan.

You: Shukran.

Taxi driver: What country?

You: Israel.

Taxi driver: Ya haram (what a shame/shameful)…

Taxi driver #2: Welcome to Jordan.

You: Shukran.

Taxi driver #2: Where are you from?

You: Canada.

Taxi driver #2: (silent)

Clearly, Canada is a good choice. Most taxi-driverspeak conversations tend toward “So how you like Jordan?” to which you must always reply that you like it, saying “qway-yays” (good), “helu” (nice), or just nod and smile. This will either ingratiate you with the driver or it will confirm his suspicions that you are being untruthful, which for most Middle-Easterners is to say that you are the typical Westerner, and anything you promise now may be denied later. Either way, he will not bother you any further, inshallah (Lord-willing).